The Eclipse and the Inner Critic

🌙 Self-doubt casts shadows—try shining the light of compassion.

The things we struggle with aren’t always obstacles—
Sometimes, they’re parts of us waiting to be understood.

I used to think procrastination was my Achilles’ heel—it made the work harder than needed. It caused me to feel anxious and spurred panic attacks.

No matter how much I stressed, no matter how many times I berated myself for waiting until the last minute, the work got done. And not just done—done well.

In fact, the work often turned out beyond what I had imagined.

Still, I couldn’t celebrate a successful project ending, let alone enjoy the creative process.

Instead, I convinced myself I was flawed for letting things wait. That if I could just get started sooner, I’d feel more in control. But the harder I fought against my natural rhythm, the worse I felt. The self-judgment spiraled into anxiety and even panic attacks.

The voice in my head was relentless:

Why can’t you just start?
Why do you always wait?
Why do you put yourself through this?

I had absorbed the idea that productivity meant immediate action—that the way I worked wasn’t just inefficient but a personal failing. I was certain no one else— especially not the ‘successful people’—procrastinated the way I did.

But when I started learning more about how the brain works, I realized I wasn’t avoiding work—I was marinating.

Ideas need time to percolate and gather weight before I can take action.

And as it turns out, the stimulus of a due date activated something in me, allowing those ideas to crystallize just in time.

Psychologists call this incubation—a process where allowing ideas to develop over time actually enhances creativity and problem-solving. Instead of forcing productivity, I started to recognize that this was how my mind operated.

It wasn’t sabotage. It was strategy.

But the self-judgment? That was the real problem.

Letting Go of the Judgment Changed Everything

Once I came to grips with this—that my brain wasn’t broken, just different—a huge weight lifted. What I had seen as a flaw was simply the way I worked.

The more I eased up on the self-criticism, the more my anxiety lifted.

I don’t always control my timelines, but I’ve learned to recognize the time I need to think things through—and to give myself grace instead of panic. When I can, I carve out space to let ideas marinate, but I don’t force it.

I still procrastinate. But now, I work with it instead of against it.

Rather than seeing it as something to fix, I’ve come to understand it as part of my process—a rhythm that, when honored, actually helps me create my best work without the anxiety.

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🌙 The Lunar Eclipse and the Weight of Self-Judgment

On March 13-14, a total lunar eclipse will darken the sky, casting the Moon into shadow before it re-emerges, whole and luminous once again.

Something about eclipses always feels deeply personal.

During an eclipse, the Earth momentarily blocks the Sun’s light, casting a shadow on the Moon—not because the Moon is flawed, but because something is momentarily in the way.

That’s what happens when self-doubt creeps in.

Even when we’ve done the work to trust ourselves, moments of stress or uncertainty can make us forget.

They block our clarity, just like the Earth’s shadow temporarily dims the Moon.

For me, that self-judgment often shows up in old beliefs about procrastination. Even though I’ve come to understand that my way of working is valid, there are moments—especially under pressure—when that old voice resurfaces, whispering:

Why can’t you just start?
Why do you always wait?
You’re falling behind.

But an eclipse doesn’t mean the Moon is gone. It’s just momentarily unseen.

And just like the Moon always returns to full light, we, too, can emerge from self-doubt with clarity and compassion.

This eclipse offers an invitation: What if, instead of fighting the shadows, we simply allowed them to pass?

What if we trusted that our light, our wisdom, our wholeness—has been there all along?

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Ancient Wisdom: Embracing the Fullness of Who We Are

Many ancient teachings remind us that wholeness requires embracing all parts of ourselves—even the ones we judge most harshly:

🔹 Taoism & Wu Wei (Effortless Action): The Tao teaches that life flows best when we stop resisting our natural rhythm. Instead of forcing clarity, we learn to move with the rhythm of things, trusting that insight will come in its own time.

🔹 Bhagavad Gita & Dharma: The Gita reminds us that our unique way of being—including our struggles—is part of our path. Instead of rejecting parts of ourselves, we are called to integrate them.

🔹 Jungian Psychology: Carl Jung wrote, “One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.” The parts of ourselves we push away don’t disappear—they influence us until we bring them into awareness.

How to Release Self-Judgment

If you’ve ever felt like you needed to force yourself into action or fit into someone else’s timeline, try this:

🔹 Notice When Judgment Shows Up – When do old beliefs or patterns resurface? Maybe it’s self-doubt before a big decision or fear of failure when you’re stepping into something new. These moments aren’t setbacks—they are invitations to listen.

🔹 Reframe the Judgment with Self-Compassion – Instead of thinking, Why do I do this? ask: What is this trying to show me?

• Doubt before a big decision isn’t proof you’re unprepared—it might be nudging you to slow down and listen to your intuition.

• Procrastination isn’t laziness—it might be a sign that your mind needs time to process before taking action.

• Fear of failure doesn’t mean you’re not good enough—it might be revealing just how much you truly care.

Kristin Neff’s research on self-compassion emphasizes mindfulness, common humanity, and self-kindness. Rather than criticizing ourselves, we can meet our struggles with understanding and curiosity.

🔹 Use the Eclipse as a Self-Compassion Reset – Lunar eclipses symbolize temporary darkness before renewed clarity. Take a moment to acknowledge an old belief or pattern that keeps resurfacing. Instead of pushing it away, sit with it. Ask what it needs.

Then, imagine releasing it with the eclipse, trusting that when the light returns, so will your clarity.

BONUS: See the link at the end of this article for a special Yoga Nidra practice designed for deep rest and remembrance of your inherent wholeness (Pūrṇa).

Closing Reflection

The Moon doesn’t rush itself back into the light, and neither should we.

Whatever phase you are in right now—whether you feel clear and strong or uncertain and lost—know this:

🌙 You are already whole.

In Sanskrit, the word Pūrṇa means complete, full, whole. It reminds us that nothing is truly missing—not from the sky when the Moon is momentarily dimmed, and not from you when doubt clouds your mind.

What if, instead of resisting the parts of yourself that feel uncomfortable, you turned toward them?

What if your doubts weren’t mistakes, but gentle reminders?

What if, instead of trying to fix yourself, you recognized that you were never broken to begin with?

Let this eclipse be a reminder:

✨ You are not behind.
✨ You are not broken.
✨ You are already whole.

And that wholeness has been with you all along.

Here’s a deeply nourishing practice I’ve recorded for you!
Click below and enjoy!

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🔹 P.S. For My Fellow Procrastinators…

If you’ve ever felt like procrastination is a flaw, research on “incubation” shows that allowing ideas to develop over time can actually enhance creativity and performance.

Want to learn more? Check out this research and this Oprah article, and give yourself permission to trust your process.

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